Packing my bags. That’s right, I got transferred. I’m going to San Fernando. It’s more north in the mission which means it will probably be more hot, which means I’m probably going to die. Haha, but really, I don’t know how I could stand more heat than we have right now and its still Spring here. My skin keeps getting darker and my hair is getting lighter. I already startle myself when I look in a mirror because I forget I look different and I don’t recognize myself.
Anyway, I’ll let you all know how the new area is, next week. I’m eager to leave, I don’t like saying good-bye to people, it’s sad and it wears me out. My companion is stressed out because I’m leaving the area in her hands but I actually feel really confident that she will take good care of everyone. Also, President Warne called me as coordinating sister so even though I won’t be training anymore, he told me it will be like training a whole zone, so that’s cool. For those of you who don’t know, a coordinating sister is like a zone leader but for sister missionaries. I’m excited — definitely gonna learn a ton.
I feel like some of the most basic things in the Gospel are things I’m learning for the first time in my life. One of those is the gift of the Holy Ghost. The Holy Ghost is a member of the Godhead. He is a God. As many of you know, anybody, sinner or saint, can feel the Holy Ghost touch their heart. One of His roles is to testify of truth, and before baptism this is a necessary part of the conversion process.
After baptism, we receive the gift of the Holy Ghost, which means He can be our constant companion IF we are worthy. I think I didn’t really know the difference before. Much of my mission I have felt the Holy Ghost testify of truth, guide me, and touch my heart, but usually just for moments here and there. I was feeling the Holy Ghost touch my heart, but He wasn’t my constant companion.
The trick is focusing less on being perfect and more on being worthy to have the Holy Ghost with me constantly, which is basically the same thing. We can’t be in the presence of a God if we aren’t completely clean, and that applies to the Spirit as well because He is also a god. Trying to be perfect is hard because it’s almost impossible to measure. But when we are truly clean and worthy, we can have the Spirit with us and that’s a difference we can feel.
Personally, I have to be repenting CONSTANTLY to have the Holy Ghost with me as a companion. It’s hard! I’ll repent of everything and then a single negative thought pops into my mind and the Spirit leaves. I have to repent again before He comes back, and I have to truly do it from the heart or it doesn’t work. I can count on my hand the number of times I’ve kept the Spirit with me for more than an hour. It’s completely different than when the Spirit just touches your heart for a moment. It’s rare and it’s a treasure. But I’m learning a LOT and repenting like crazy. It’s totally worth it because there is nothing like feeling clean and having a god in your presence. It’s amazing, it completely changes me. It gives me all the attributes of Christ all at once and I know what to say and do and feel like the whole world makes sense. I feel a joy and peace that words can’t describe.
The other thing I’m learning like never before is how to pray. You’d think I should already know how to do that, right? I’ve only taught it a million times. Every once in a while people ask us dumb questions like, “Have you seen any angels yet today?” or , “Have you talked to God lately?” It’s dumb and ironic because these things actually do happen, it’s just not how people think. I talked with God this morning. He told me that He was disappointed that I started my study time late and that as a result, I missed out on learning something really special. We talked about what I was going to do to be better and He told me that He loved me and gave me the gift of the Spirit once again. I’m learning how to listen because I always just talked to God and thought He would answer me in some way later on. Now we trade off talking and listening just like any normal conversation. At first it took me a while to feel what He wanted to say to me or trust the feelings that came. It’s becoming more normal and fast as I understand better how to listen.
That’s all for now folks, I’m out of time. If I don’t email anyone, please don’t feel bad. I’m gonna have twice as many people to write now cause everyone here in Talca wants to stay in contact. Just one last shout out for my Mommy cause today is her birthday!! I have the most amazing mom in the entire world, and I’m not just saying that. She is a fantastic example of diligence and love and everything I want to learn to be. I love you Mom! Thank you for everything and I can’t wait to see your beautiful face again on Christmas! Love to you all who are reading this blog. I really love and miss you from the depths of my heart. Thank you for your prayers and know that you are still in my prayers too.